and here
So, What Makes the Female Aspect So Special?
Let me remind you my thesis: if you have mental problems, obsessive thoughts, for example, you can't just remove them like a sick tooth leaving everything else as it was: you have to change yourself, change your attitude to the problem - sounds logical, but what does this really mean?
From my own experience of depression, if you feel depressed, in the end you still feel better, and only then you can change something. But if you already feel good, is it necessary to change anything? And if yes, in what way? The first step, therefore, is to realize that you have problems not only when you're depressed but also when you're feeling high so the recovery will require much greater changes than just getting rid of some unpleasant symptoms. When we're depressed, we're obsessed with unpleasant thoughts, but the very thought obsession usually begins when we're feeling high - that's when we usually get seduced by tempting, happy thoughts, and later when we're exhausted, nightmares overtake us.
This is a general rule: unpleasant thoughts are preceded by pleasant ones; before unpleasant thoughts invade, pleasant thoughts must already prepare the ground for them: make us malleable. In fact, they are two sides of the same coin: pleasant thoughts are the cause of unpleasant - somehow they are associated - there is some reason why we became attached to our nightmares. So to get rid of a neurosis, you should start with its pleasant aspect - this at least will deprive the unpleasant aspect of its energy. What seduces you - I called it the female aspect - acts as a Trojan horse when it comes to entering within you, and the same substance is also the reason why negative experiences associated with it linger inside of you, so to reverse the neurosis, you should start again with its pleasant aspect.
Start by analyzing your daydreams: try to understand what kind of relationships with other people they involve. What role do you play there? Especially pay attention to the fact who you want to impress in the story so whose approval you want to win - that is, who you actually obey so that who has control over you. Then as you practice, try to understand from where such an attitude originates - that's what I call working on your own female aspect - actually, you already began doing it by starting to practice zazen. Before working with the female aspect of others, you should deal with your own.
Analyzing your daydreams in this way, you will gradually go down to your childhood memories. That's about the memories which are most likely very dear to you, which you cherish, to which you're deeply attached; most likely you think they are what determines your personality. Who are these people? Are you ready to admit that they are your main problem (not to say enemies)? Ancient Chan master taught: to reveal your true self (it also means your potential) you should destroy your past, your roots, and then your true identity will manifest in its entirety.
So, this is the second rule of dealing with your mental problems. The first rule, let me remind you, is: begin with the recent problems gradually shifting to the older ones. The second rule is: begin with the most cherished and pleasant attachments - only then the suppression of negative thoughts can be really effective. The rigours of this practice is determined by the severity of your neurosis. The good news is that in a few years, you'll have a stronger ego, and you'll be able to relax.
So, What Makes the Female Aspect So Special?
Let me remind you my thesis: if you have mental problems, obsessive thoughts, for example, you can't just remove them like a sick tooth leaving everything else as it was: you have to change yourself, change your attitude to the problem - sounds logical, but what does this really mean?
From my own experience of depression, if you feel depressed, in the end you still feel better, and only then you can change something. But if you already feel good, is it necessary to change anything? And if yes, in what way? The first step, therefore, is to realize that you have problems not only when you're depressed but also when you're feeling high so the recovery will require much greater changes than just getting rid of some unpleasant symptoms. When we're depressed, we're obsessed with unpleasant thoughts, but the very thought obsession usually begins when we're feeling high - that's when we usually get seduced by tempting, happy thoughts, and later when we're exhausted, nightmares overtake us.
This is a general rule: unpleasant thoughts are preceded by pleasant ones; before unpleasant thoughts invade, pleasant thoughts must already prepare the ground for them: make us malleable. In fact, they are two sides of the same coin: pleasant thoughts are the cause of unpleasant - somehow they are associated - there is some reason why we became attached to our nightmares. So to get rid of a neurosis, you should start with its pleasant aspect - this at least will deprive the unpleasant aspect of its energy. What seduces you - I called it the female aspect - acts as a Trojan horse when it comes to entering within you, and the same substance is also the reason why negative experiences associated with it linger inside of you, so to reverse the neurosis, you should start again with its pleasant aspect.
Start by analyzing your daydreams: try to understand what kind of relationships with other people they involve. What role do you play there? Especially pay attention to the fact who you want to impress in the story so whose approval you want to win - that is, who you actually obey so that who has control over you. Then as you practice, try to understand from where such an attitude originates - that's what I call working on your own female aspect - actually, you already began doing it by starting to practice zazen. Before working with the female aspect of others, you should deal with your own.
Analyzing your daydreams in this way, you will gradually go down to your childhood memories. That's about the memories which are most likely very dear to you, which you cherish, to which you're deeply attached; most likely you think they are what determines your personality. Who are these people? Are you ready to admit that they are your main problem (not to say enemies)? Ancient Chan master taught: to reveal your true self (it also means your potential) you should destroy your past, your roots, and then your true identity will manifest in its entirety.
So, this is the second rule of dealing with your mental problems. The first rule, let me remind you, is: begin with the recent problems gradually shifting to the older ones. The second rule is: begin with the most cherished and pleasant attachments - only then the suppression of negative thoughts can be really effective. The rigours of this practice is determined by the severity of your neurosis. The good news is that in a few years, you'll have a stronger ego, and you'll be able to relax.
Thus, the female aspect is the shortest way to influence how the super-ego manifests itself in
your personality. The female aspect is special in two respects: first,
it's a Trojan horse when it comes to getting inside of you (this is a
common pattern: any manipulation attempts usually begin with a more or less friendly invasion in the female style so that once get inside, to
move to tougher methods - perhaps this is the
general pattern of any relationship, and the advantage always gets the
one who first breaks the rules: an unspoken non-aggression pact.)
Secondly, to reverse the result of manipulation, neurosis, you should
start again with its pleasant aspect.
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