I don't want you to get the impression that I think of myself as a spiritual teacher. Actually, my goal is to write a self-teacher so everyone can achieve enlightenment without any teacher, that is, repeat my experience. For me your enlightenment is your problem, and I can only help you by giving advice via the Internet. In addition, this training doesn't involve any sexual encounters between me and the followers, so I cannot be called a spiritual teacher by definition.

About Me II

About Me

My first word was 'papa' - 'dad' - my father read somewhere that if you whisper in the ear of a sleeping baby words, then in this way you can teach the child to speak. That's how he taught me my first word (although usually for the Russians it's 'mama'- 'mom'.) As it turned out later, that wasn't the end of his experimenting with whispering in my ears; and when I became a teenager and started to fight for my independence, he and my mother began to apply this method for my upbringing. Needless to say that what they whispered to me were only prohibitions (someday, maybe I'll tell you what exactly they whispered: I don't think this can already make me vulnerable.)

My Comment

 See the link below

This is true but only partly. As a former neurotic - I hope it was just a neurosis - I suffered from my memories. If your subconscious mind is poisoned, you can't ask youself about anytying because your thoughts go in the wrong direction. So instead of asking myself, I had to suppress all my doubts (the main problem was that my fears were primarily associated with my loved ones) this may seem unspiritual, but that's exactly what Zen Buddhists do during dzazden. Surprisingly, as a result, I didn't get in some kind of vacuum: the very denial gave me the understanding of what was happening around so I began to feel free from my past: it didn't matter to me anymore.

If your past no longer determines the present, then you have a choice. The truth is that we're not only our past, but also our potential, that is, the future - at least until we're denying the past.

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/memory-hacker-implant-false-memories-in-peoples-minds-julia-shaw-memory-illusion  

About Me

When I turned 26, in 1991, I was careless enough to attract the attention of a Christian sect. As a result, I lost everything.

When I started to practice Zen, I had problems with sitting meditation due to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that I had

When I started to practice Zen, it was difficult for me to concentrate sitting in a static body posture due to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that I had. Then I found these books by Koichi Tohei: Ki in Daily Life; The Book of Ki, How to Unify Ki.

In a nutshell, he has four basic principles of unification of mind and body:
1. Keep One Point it's about 2-4 inches below the navel (although if he know physics, he would 've known that every point of space can really be considered as a center of the univ…erse because of its geometry)
2. Relax Completely
3. Keep weight underside
4. Extend Ki

You can even find something on the internet if you google up "koichi tohei one point", for example. I've just found:
[PDF]Ki Breathing by Koichi Tohei Sensei
http://www.wheatbeltaikido.com/DojoDocuments/KiBreathing.pdf

But having neurosis, I wasn't always able to find and keep the One Point; therefore, I had to invent my own method.