Understanding

Maybe doing zazen, you have an unpleasant feeling if other people are next to you. In that case, you should understand why this is so: it might be not your fault. In other words, you should understand who those people are (in which way and why they influence you), and for this you should deny them, that is, just continue to do zazen. If you do everything right, then as a result, you'll have the feeling that they are your particular case, or, more precisely, that the whole situation around is your particular case, unless a thought occurs to you, which means you've failed to comprehend the situation.
Understanding is a process of destruction in fact - it's akin to killing. And there's nothing to be embarrassed about: since zazen is just a total denial, you should just be consistent.

Of course, this doesn't mean that you should literally suppress the person you're trying to understand. Ideally, or theoretically at least, you should be happy in any situation as long as you've managed to understand it. But in practice, this is  more complicated; and although ancient Zen masters thought of an ideal adept as a scarecrow who was dead but did his/her job, in reality, hardly anyone will allow you to be just a dummy (don't look down on the ancient masters: to reconcile the zazen experience with everyday life is much harder than the majority of contemporary Zen followers think.) The trouble is that people expect from you not only certain actions but also a certain emotional state, and this state is usually not the same you're pursuing. Some, including your loved ones, will be annoyed just by the fact that you're trying to concentrate.

People often don't even realize that on a subconscious level, they establish a hierarchy in a very infantile, archaic way; and any your attempt to shed light on it can meet resistance. As a result, you may feel guilty and start to think that you're doing something wrong. Sadly enough, you will often have to fight back on the same archaic level just to break ki of your opponent.

The good news is that there is a simple technique that will allow you to understand any situation (as long as you're not partial to the people involved, of course) and even to realize how the very process of understanding works so that you eventually can observe and analyze it (the process of understanding) as if you were the devil - or God, if you like - One Wonderful Technique, The Main Obstacle.